Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Fish Sticks


I'm on vacation this week so I should be blogging more...but I'm lazy like most humans. I did ponder a list but I never wrote it down and now I don't know where to start. Why can't I just be a fish in a tank? Swimming around all day and night...waiting for food to fall from the sky. I wouldn't know that someday I might become fish sticks.
But in this condition, the human state, I am forced to consider my future; even mundane things like what to eat later and did I pay the electric bill? Or bigger things like whether or not I took my medications today and do pets dream? (That one has been on my mind alot lately...not sure why).
I do meet "fish people" from time to time; sad, empty-eyed bubble blowers, looking down at the familiar floor. If I had a net big enough, I could pull them from their comfort zone and place them in a tank with piranha...but like real fish, they'd never know what's really biting off their ass.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

more Sketchbook

Notes to Mister


Remember to beat the fucking cat when you get home...she puked on the bed. She won't know why you're beating her...and I don't care.

I met my guardian angel today...and beat his ass. He won't be comin' round here no more.

The weather man panicked everyone the day before yesterday...some big ice storm winter freak blizzard thing was supposed to happen. All the local news showed lines and lines of people at the grocery store...because it's the desert and we frequently get snowed in for days and days but...alas...it was sunny today. I beat his ass.

My neighbor's little yappity dog thing barked all night...at nothing. I lured him with bacon strips and beat his ass.

wow. Is there any problem that cannot be solved with the beating of ass? I could get used to this.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Twenty-eleven

I woke up this morning, 40 years old...which is strange because I went to bed at 20.
Crisis? No, I'm not in the mood for crisis...besides, I might break my hip. I keed.

So, what have I done with all these years:
1. paid over $85,000 in income tax and such
2. paid off 5 cars
3. pooped about 7 thousand times, maybe more.
4. lost and gained 500 pounds
5. made many many friends (from all the poop and fat) I keed again, my friends are
not poop or fat. i luv ya.
6. i can draw
7. i can cook
8. i can sew
9. i can see my vagina
10.i went back to school
11.everyone calls me 'sir'