Notes to Mister

Remember to beat the fucking cat when you get home...she puked on the bed. She won't know why you're beating her...and I don't care.

I met my guardian angel today...and beat his ass. He won't be comin' round here no more.

The weather man panicked everyone the day before yesterday...some big ice storm winter freak blizzard thing was supposed to happen. All the local news showed lines and lines of people at the grocery store...because it's the desert and we frequently get snowed in for days and days but...alas...it was sunny today. I beat his ass.

My neighbor's little yappity dog thing barked all night...at nothing. I lured him with bacon strips and beat his ass.

wow. Is there any problem that cannot be solved with the beating of ass? I could get used to this.