Experimental Spray Paint Portrait

Shit Day

I was doing fine, working at a feverish pace, running back and forth to the front to approve various returns and transaction cancellations and questions about ad product and do we take this G D coupon, when all of a sudden I noticed a small pile of human fecal matter on the floor in the main aisle of my store. Good God and Damn and Christmas people, what the fuck. And then I was without words.
The only two associates I had working at the time were busy with guests at the checkout. I had no choice but to clean it myself as the culprit was not holding up a sign that said "I did it". I doubt they would have cleaned it up anyway. People are suck.
And people laugh at me or look at me queerly when I say "THIS is why Jesus is NEVER coming back!"
I wanted to go to each 'guest' in the building and kick them in the vagina...just once, but then I would have gotten shit on my shoe...nasty, disgusting bitches.

I have to wear a button that says "I Love My Guest" but I took it off and jabbed the pin into my eye a bunch of times, to see if this was real, "to see if I still hurt".

I don't.

Lenny and George

Sea Demon 2

Driven

To see this great country, you must drive thru it (or Forrest Gump it if you have no car). I have just driven thru about 1/4 of it. NM,AZ,NV,CA,OR,WA,ID,MT,WY,CO, then finally, back to TX. 4793 miles to be exact. I enjoyed every minute of it, well, not every minute: Dalhart, Tx. smells like one giant cow ass.
But somewhere along this trip, I began to notice something unusual; there were faces I could swear I'd seen before. So familiar were these faces that I was often tempted to just go up to them and say "hey, wow, I KNOW you!" I found myself staring at them intensely, like a serial killer, studying their bone structure and mannerisms for ANY confirmation to my suspicion.
There was a man I saw somewhere near Death Valley who I know once delivered a truck to my store. Possible? Yes...but the odds of meeting him in some random rest stop in line for the pisser is just too absurd. Then it happened again, only this time it was a server at a KFC where we stopped to lunch. The Golden Gate Bridge at 8 o'clock in the morning, offered us fog and a flock of pro-bicyclists making ready for what apparently was a daily or atleast weekly routine. Among the 30 or so men and women, there was one guy I could swear had been my neighbor. The lady at the toll booth. The tour guide on whale watching day came over to me out of a hundred or so of her captive audience members, says to me "you look like you wanted to see this" and handed me a chart with photos of the dorsal fins belonging to the pod of whales we were about to view. wha? The kid working the counter at countless convenience stores we'd stopped at. His female co-worker, always the same young but burly, mullet hair.
And then it got really weird; they began to recognize ME (or it felt like they were recognizing me). A random, almost inperceivable nod, as if to acknowledge that we were both part of the same herd. A smile in my direction. The occasional 'how are you?' and not just from waitresses who are supposed to make you feel at home.
But NOWHERE along all those miles, did anyone ever ask us where we were from. I mean, I'm not dumb, if they could see my vehicle, they could see we were from by God Texas and maybe that was enough information for people. We actually met some people from Wichita Falls, Tx. but I didn't know them. They were just actual strangers.
I kept pointing out these people to my sister who mostly ignored my excitement and actually began to mock me. "Oh my god, look at the face on this box of little debbies, doesn't that look like someone we know?!!" I hate her so.
Well, finally, a friendly face I ACTUALLY know, said to me that when we begin to recognized all the players in our lives, reoccuring characters in this field of humanity, that we've achieved something great. The world has gotten that much smaller but it is now a cozy place. No matter where you go, find those characters and be familiar, be comforted. Wonderful notion, I thought, but maybe my eyes were just tired after driving for 39 hours. And she said, "maybe they were seeing better than ever before." Ok, too much caffeine? Or maybe, there are only a few thousand faces in the world and everyone of us fits into one of those molds. Our brains, constantly analyzing information from senses, quickly try and file them into one of those slots. The recognition factor is just the brain making a "match".
"Or maybe, it's a flaw in the MATRIX," my sister said. I do hate her.

Brujeria